Late-Night Comics Lampoon Trump's New 'Gold Card' Immigration Program

Late-night's leading entertainers used their evening ridiculing former President Donald Trump's recently unveiled immigration initiative, called the "golden visa," describing it as a obvious pay-to-play arrangement for the rich.

The Late Show's Witty Take

Starting his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical Christmas song directed at the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he sang. "The President ... destroys each thing he touches."

The subject was the controversial program which allows international individuals to purchase U.S. legal status for an investment of one million dollars, or "platinum" option for five million. The program's page promises processing "with unprecedented speed."

"One thought here to rich immigrants: prior to you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the scheme is also designed to "get cash" from businesses wishing to hire foreign workers, requiring large payments. "That is a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – as long as it's the that one hotel," he said.

"The best background check the U.S. government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these people completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"It's a card that will permit wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the simplicity of the application, observing it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Struggles

On another network, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining approval numbers amid financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a bid to address prices, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a selection of grocery items, where he behaved peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by criticizing right-leaning news coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he joked.